The 12 Steps help people with a substance use disorder create lasting change in recovery and reconnect with family to help cement that change. Direct amends refers to going directly to the wronged individual, apologizing and taking whatever action is necessary to correct a situation. If an individual damaged someone else’s home while they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, direct amends may require that they go to the property owner, apologize and repair damages.

• Work with your sponsor, treatment center, and 12-Step group to determine which parts of this are right for you.
• On the surface, making amends might sound as simple as offering a sincere apology for your treatment of others, but there’s more to this cornerstone Twelve Step practice.
• But, as difficult as it is, completing this step can provide an immense sense of relief and newfound hope for the future.
• We do not receive any commission or fee that is dependent upon which treatment provider a caller chooses.
• However, this future possibility should not keep you from working your steps.
• While you may be confident in your recovery, your family members may not fully trust that it is permanent or sincere, that takes time and stable action.

Write down what happened, who was harmed, and how you could make amends. Once the pain they caused someone else to experience is understood, the person with a substance use disorder can work to ensure it does not happen again. It is healthy and wise to avoid making the same mistakes in the future by writing things down, confronting the person head-on, and creating a space for the healing of broken trust. There may be an opportunity to cultivate a new and better family bond that will only grow in depth and reach. They face their fears, failures, and difficulties from substance use behavior. The times they hurt people, were absent, or caused pain to loved ones is not easy to face.

How To Make Amends in Addiction Recovery

Even so, you will have done all that you can to take responsibility for the past—and there’s a level of peace and freedom in that as well. How the other person chooses to respond to our amends is out of our control. Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds.

• “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic.
• The outcome of making amends doesn’t always end in relationships picking up where they left off, but the process is cathartic and necessary to move on.

Should others be unreceptive or outcomes aren’t as planned, don’t blame yourself. What you can control is how you’ll continue to make positive changes and live an authentic living amends life free from substances. Arrange to speak with the other person – while COVID-19 has complicated this process, making amends face-to-face is encouraged.

Recovery Life Coach vs. Addiction Therapist

On the surface, making amends might sound as simple as offering a sincere apology for your treatment of others, but there’s more to this cornerstone Twelve Step practice. Some people in your life may be reluctant to hear another apology or accept an invitation to meet with you. Respect their space but continue to reach out and let them know you’re looking to make amends. Consistency is your best asset when trying to reach out to someone who is reluctant. Show through patterned behavior that you’re serious about apologizing and mending any damage to the relationship. The time it will take depends on many factors such as your comfort level, the number of people hurt, and the severity of the damage caused.

During addiction treatment at Royal Life Centers, each guest is able to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and gain insight from their past and present. Guests are provided with intensive therapies to gain this insight in order to use it to make positive changes in their lives. Recovery from addiction holds many changes, it is a transformative experience that changes your life for the better. For the amends process to be successful, you first need to focus on healing yourself, then be willing to forgive yourself and others. The concept of making amends originates from AA’s 12 Step program, which provides a framework for individuals to build a long-lasting, sustainable recovery.

Step Nine Spiritual Principles: Always A Good Day For Humble Pie

Sometimes, the outcome can be uglier and downright disappointing. They may refuse to meet at all or refuse to listen to what you have to say. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends. There may be so many times we feel we let someone down that it can be hard to know where to begin.

• We stop thinking about our lives in terms of what we don’t have and begin to appreciate the gifts that we receive every single day.
• How the other person chooses to respond to our amends is out of our control.
• Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.
• This involves going to each individual and acknowledging the harm/hurt you’ve caused them and demonstrating changed behavior to give them an opportunity to heal.